Here I am, sitting in the library, staring at my planner full of lists of things I need to get done. I’ve found myself here. My sweet happy place of writing to the online world about what’s going on in this little head of mine.
I’m stuck though, in a standstill watching the world keep turning around me. That sounds extrememly cliche and depressing, but I can’t describe it any other way. I’m surrounded by people that care about me and love me, but I feel so alone. Maybe I just want to be alone? Those things that normally bring my joy aren’t. Those things that help me escape, just aren’t doing the trick.
For example, I sing and I play the guitar. To put it in perspective my guitar goes and in hand with my journal when it comes to taking care of my well being. I just spent the last two hours learning a song. I had a little trouble changing chords midstrum, and I started crying! Crying out of frustrating of not being to switch between two simple chords. Now, normally I would just laugh at myself for not getting right away, but for some reason I lost it!
So this rut I am stuck in is clearly taking a mental toll on this normally happy girl. I think I maybe need a spiritual cleanse or something. Maybe I need to go on a crazy adventure.
Well, I don’t want to bother your day too much with some depressing rant of this awkwardly rough time in my life. If you have any ideas, at this point I’m up to try anything!