Passion

Passion has been on my mind a lot lately.  I’m in that place in my life where I am starting to decide where I want to settle down and what I want to do for a decent amount of my life.  But I have this fear, it’s silly actually, but I’m afraid that I’m going to either not love what I do every day, or I’m going to fall out of love with what I will be doing every day.  When I say every day, I don’t just mean my career.  I mean everything that I do every day.

It’s a real fear though.  It sort of reflects this deep fear I have for my life entirely…  I’m afraid of not living, or a having a half-ass life.  It’s definitely cliché but, that’s my fear.  I go at everything entirely, 100% because I don’t believe there is any other way.  If I don’t want to do something, I simply will not do it.  If I want something, I do everything I can to get it.  I experience life as it comes to be.  I do things that scare me, but not enough.  I feel every emotion I can as deeply as I can.  I love until it hurts, I cry until I don’t need to, but I don’t necessarily get mad, just frustrated until I can find a solution.

When I’m on my death bed, whenever that I may be, my only desire is to look back on my life and know I was truly passionate about life in general. I lived in every moment fully, and I was in love with every part of my life without a doubt.  Looking back, I don’t want any “what if’s” or “I should have/could have/would have’s” I want to be able to say that I tried everything that came in my path.  I want my life to be the best story I can possibly write.

XO
-R